did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
