Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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