Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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