Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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