he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
