after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
