We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
