I wanna bring you to show and tell
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
