Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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