Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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