I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
