i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
