i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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