Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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