so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
