White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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