Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
