I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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