Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
