he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Alive.
So much puke
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
