You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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