my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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