I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
