I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
