did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
