...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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