he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
