Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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