all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
