so that wasnt chicken after all
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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