Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
