She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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