I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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