1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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