I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
