Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
