Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
