:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
should my penis look like a turkey
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
