the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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