What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
