I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
