i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
