I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
