Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
there is glitter all over my balls
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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