dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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