He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
