Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
false alarm, still single
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
