Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
