I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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