john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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