I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
